Things

Like most people, I've spent a great deal of my adulthood accumulating 'things'. You never realize how many 'things' you have until you move.

I've moved so many times in the past 5 years that you'd think I'd have it down to a science. I don't. This most recent move, which I know will not be my last, finally made me break ties with many things which frankly, I don't need nor particularly want.

A local charity became the recipient of many items which were almost never used but would be welcome in any household. I don't believe in discarding things if they can benefit someone else.

As I unloaded what seemed to be most of my life, a sense of freedom (and panic) took over. This is what my entire existence is about these days. Giving up the old to make room for the new. I have no clue what the 'new' is, but I know that I am making plenty of space for it.

It amazes me how attached we get to those things which surround us even when there is no use or need for them. I gave away a brand new set of bake ware which I received as a bridal shower gift 20 years ago. I've been divorced for 17 of those years. Its not that the bake ware held any 'meaning' for me. The divorce was quite amicable. Two people realizing that they were better friends apart than together. But the bake ware was really nice and functional so I kept it and over the years, moved it from apartment to apartment. I think I used it 3 times.

As I packed boxes filled with my past and present, I wondered, mostly aloud, 'what am I doing with this stuff? I never use it." So off I went carting it over to the thrift store knowing full well that someone would make better use of these items than I would. All they did in my cabinet was collect dust.

I think that somewhere along the line we are taught to not throw things out. Much like 'eating everything on your plate'. We are taught to horde and when the time comes to break with the attachments we don't know how. Perhaps this mindset has trickled down from the Great Depression. Maybe its encoded in our DNA. Afterall, we were once hunters and gatherers. In this day and age, the only 'hunting' we do is in the local supermarket going up and down aisles to find what we need.

I believe that clearing space comes with a price. Shedding an old skin for untried new one. The word 'frightening' is an understatement. But what good does anything do if we hang on? Not much.

I'm learning that it is not the things you can live without, all that does is imply deprivation. I'm learning that I like what I live with. This is a completely different attitude. As we mature and our circumstances change we need to take the time to realize what it is that is important. The lifestyle we live determines what we need.

Giving up the urban life made me notice how many high heeled shoes I have. These go with dresses and suits which right now I have no use for. It was the costume of my 'old life'. This is not to say I don't like them, it is just a matter of having no reason to wear them. Do I miss it? Not by a long shot. I don't even think of it until I see the suits hanging in my closet. They are nice and they did have a purpose in another life, but not in this current one.

I'm learning. All I can think of right now is that I do have everything I really need. Everything else is just for show.