Attachments

When do we understand that certain attachments are not healthy? When is it appropriate for family members to act on their own without the constant reinforcement from other family members?

There are certain people that never seem to find their own way and some of us have this need to help them get through their troubles. Except their troubles don't ever vanish thereby pulling the would be helper deeper into situations not of their own making.

It is difficult to walk away from some issues especially when the issues pertain to the people we love. But we have to come to accept that the most good we can do under certain circumstances is to step aside and let those people develop on their own. They are capable. Extending hope, understanding and even advice is fine. Its when the attachment becomes claustrophobic that we lose our sense of self for the misconception that we are helping someone in need.

The occasional assistance is valuable. The taking care of others without taking care of ourselves leaves us with the oppressive feeling that we are failures. We cannot take care of others if we first don't take care of who we are.