Things Aren't Always as They Seem

There comes on time in every one's life when the decision to stop personalizing the actions of others declares them free to live a life on their own terms and not for anyone else's benefit.

Eleanore Roosevelt was quoted to have said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Anyone who is familiar with that statement will immediately nod and agree because those words hit upon the very core of our existence. But no matter how much impact they have, they are extremely difficult to live by. To be able to draw upon our own reserve of self confidence and self esteem especially when we are in the midst of navigating through a minefield of emotional quagmires, requires a conscious effort.

We show the world a fraction of who we are. We probably show ourselves even less. One of the most difficult things to accept are the flaws that make us unique. Sometimes they are manifested in a manner that is apparent to everyone even though we think we hide it well. We do this not to protect ourselves from others, but foremost to protect ourselves from ourselves.

We can only judge those around us by our own individual frame of reference which is in and of itself entirely selfish. Then we gravitate to people who think like we do thereby solidifying our position of 'rightness.' High school probably comes to mind but its been a normal occurrence from the moment we began socializing as young children. Not stepping outside of the people in our comfort zone, keeps us safe.

I'm the type of person who gravitates to people of very different personalities. I am always stepping outside of my comfort zone and thereby draw criticism. I admire strong men and women. I relate to them, because I am one of them but that does not mean I think like they do. But most importantly, I respect the personalities of all. They are who they are and they fit in my life for certain reasons. To reinforce my opinions is not one of them.

Most of the time those reasons won't be evident until much later. If I focus too long on trying to figure them out now, I will miss the beauty of letting them unfold to where they will naturally go and learning what I am supposed learn. If I fight it then I am not seeing the lesson because I'm too busy protecting me. In that respect I don't control situations around me, I observe them and only control how I react.

To the outside world my choice of friends might result in a little head scratching on the behalf of the observer. But if they were to see all my friends and I mean every one of them in one room, they would find the most eclectic group of people they would ever hope to meet. Most of them only know each other through me. All wonderfully real, all very different and all feed a unique part of who I am. Its almost like taking every course you've ever taken in school all at the same time.

When we are confronted with situations which rock our little stable worlds, our normal response is to react and react immediately. It is purely a defense mechanism going back to protect ourselves against anyone who draws out our base insecurities. We hate that. We feel we must take control now. But what happens if we don't? What happens if we are so secure in who we are that we just let things go? Amazing things actually. I might be questioned as to why I don't react to situations where most would. I say that there will always be a time to address such things and sometimes it best to let that time come to me rather than me forcing a resolution. I find it better to just watch things unfold and let annoyances die their own death because in the end they always do and usually far better than any outcome I could have orchestrated.

We can only do this if we truly believe in what Mrs. Roosevelt said. Most of the time, we let other's opinions of who we are and how we are supposed to act and react interfere with what we believe to be true about ourselves. I would rather watch from afar and marvel at the uniqueness of people and how they fill my world. As I walk my own path through life, I never forget for one moment that those around me are walking their own. They have their own ways of reacting to what they are confronted with on a daily basis and just because I may have an opinion....doesn't make me right.